the.com/corporatespeak

the language you use when you want to say nothing without technically lying.

means a dialect of English designed to make firing people, missing deadlines, and admitting failure sound like strategic progress.

from grew out of 1950s management theory and IBM-style bureaucratic memos, then exploded with the consulting boom of the 1980s-90s, when mckinsey decks needed a language vague enough to survive any outcome.

for instance

we're pivotingstartup-speak for the last plan failed quietly

per my last emailcorporate for read the email, idiot

other duties as assignedthe job description clause that means anything, anytime

let's take this offlinea meeting escape hatch used in every industry

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