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a desk that fits in a backpack and slowly cooks your thighs to prove it.

means A portable personal computer that folds shut like a clamshell, combining screen, keyboard, and battery into a single unit you can use on your knees or a table.

from A transparent English compound: "lap" (the flat surface your thighs make when you sit) plus "top," coined in the early 1980s to distinguish these new fold-up machines from the immovable "desktop." "Lap" itself is an old Germanic wordthe loose fold or hanging flap of a garmentwhich over centuries came to mean the seated body's cradle, the very spot these computers were named to occupy. They were briefly called "laptops" in contrast to "luggables," the suitcase-sized portables that came before.

first oneThe 1981 Osborne weighed 24 pounds with a tiny screen
the nameClamshell design lets it close like a beetle's wings
battery truthLithium cells age whether you use them or not
hidden heatCPUs run hotter than a fresh cup of coffee
lap mythMakers warn against actual lap use over heat
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