the.com/ring theory
grief has a chain of command, and comfort only flows outward.
means a framework where the person most affected sits in the center circle, everyone else ranks by closeness, and comfort goes inward while complaints go outward.
from coined in 2013 by psychologist susan silk and mediator barry goldman in an la times op-ed after silk's own cancer treatment, when a well-meaning visitor made her surgery about their own feelings.
the rulecomfort in, dump out, no exceptions
real namering theory of kvetching, officially
visual aiddraw actual concentric circles, name each ring
widely taughtused in hospice training and grief counseling
for instance
susan silk essay — 2013 los angeles times piece that started it all
hospital chaplain training — used to coach visitors on what not to say
corporate hr guides — adapted for layoffs and workplace crisis support