the.com/printer

A loyal machine that senses your deadline and chooses violence with the cyan cartridge.

means A device that produces text or images from a computer onto paper, or a person or business whose trade is reproducing printed material.

from From print, which travelled into English through Old French preinte, 'a pressed impression,' from Latin premere, 'to press' — the same squeezing root behind press and pressure. The earliest printers were people: those who pressed inked type against paper. Only later did the name pass to the machines, which inherited the job but not, apparently, the patience.

ink costPricier per gallon than vintage Champagne
jam reflexPaper sticks worst when you hurry most
first modelCharles Babbage designed one in the 1840s
color hostageRefuses black text without full color ink
secret dotsMany print invisible tracking codes on every page
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